Let’s talk about mom guilt. Bleh. It’s the worst.
I used to feel guilty when I worked too much then I felt guilty when I wasn’t working because I should have been more productive with that time.
I used to feel guilty when my house was a mess then I would feel guilty when I would clean my house instead of playing with my kids. And then of course the guilt that came when the house was clean and I would get after the kids for every little mess.
Sometimes I’m too harsh. Sometimes I way to lax. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
It all comes down to a simple explanation. I love my kids and I want the best life for them. And there’s no reason to feel guilty about that.
Nothing has changed. I still have days where I work too much and days where I don’t work enough. I still over-clean, under-clean, over-discipline, under-discipline. The only thing that has changed it LETTING GO OF GUILT.
I had a realization that I’m a working mom because I choose to be a working mom.
And I choose to work because I love to work. And also, whether I work or not, this mom gig is hard. And I’m not perfect. And I can’t do all the things everyday.
I chose to let go of mom guilt, shame and society’s expectations (past and current) of what a mom should or shouldn’t be. And I choose to live my best life. For me, and for my family.
I chose this, and I love it. My family is one of the biggest reasons I push myself through the hard times to keep building this empire. We learn, grow and experience this world together.
Whether you’re a WAHM, SAHM, WM or whatever other combination of MOM, you’re doing what you were born to do. And your acronym may change from time to time, but the point is…let go of the guilt..and live. Your kids are watching. You are their hero no matter what you choose.
Cool, Kylee but how can I give my all to my work and my all to my kids?
The answer will blow your mind —> Stop trying to do it at the same time.
Sitting down to work while your kids are running wild means you have one ear open for screams or fighting, doors opening and children yelling “mom, mom, mom” You can’t be all in on your work when half of your brain is still in mom mode. If you work like this you will be a hamster wheel trying to work on one thing and ending the day wondering what you were even working on.
It is impossible. You cannot be the best business owner you can be and the best mother you can be at the same time. One foot in and one foot out of your business.
I give my all to my business so I can give all to my kids. Giving all to my business separately allows me to give my all to my kids separately.
And guess what? My kids love a break from me as much as I love a break from them.
So here’s what I want you to do: hire a babysitter. It can be a family member you trust, someone you find on care.com, a neighbor or post on Facebook and you’ll be surprised at who you know that would love the gig.
The year I upped my babysitter to six hours a week, I got so much done in those six hours that I started skiing with my friends every other week on the off days. Six hours of working without kids is like 40 hours of work you would have done with kids.
I was a better mom
I was a better mom when I was ahead of my work, without to-do lists hanging over my head.
I was a better mom when I could focus on being a mom instead of multi-tasking.
I was a better mom when I let them play with a babysitter instead of sitting in front of a tv.
I was a better mom for hiring a babysitter.
Give your all to your work, and your all to your kids but stop trying to do it at the same time.
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Kylee started Kylee Ann Photography 9 years ago, and has since grown from a one woman amateur show to a full associate team. We shoot 50-75 weddings a year, and thrive on kindness and service. After a year of teaching Intro to Photography at the local technical college, she discovered that helping other entrepreneurs create thriving businesses is what fires her up! She hosts semi-annual Kylee Ann Sleepovers all over the US, speak at conferences and teach online courses about running a small business and marketing.
May 25, 2020